I havn't updated this in a while- I don't really have a reason either. I am living in Knoxville this summer and loving it. I'm working at Target, helping two Muslim girls from Africa get ready for an English test, and hanging out with my friends.
Tonight I layed out on a hammock and got the crazy idea to go back and read my journals from last semester. It was the first time I've actually let myself sit and think about where I've come since my time in Latin America. I laughed at some things that I forgot about...and I cried about some things I missed. But I forgot I wrote this journal on the plane back to Miami:
"4-21 El fin
I just took off from Latin America. In 2 hours ill be back to the U.S.- back to extreme capitalism, consumerism, wealth, poverty, and all the people I love most. It's one of the most bittersweet things I've ever gone through. I've wanted to cry a lot because I dont want who Ive become to change. Im not very confident things will stick when I get back to the small world of Johnson Bible College where stupid things are analyzed and important things are ignored or covered up. I want my heart to stay in the place it is here...and I want to be who I am here: a hippie who loves peace, a fighter for those without a voice, a critic of the norm, a student, a 21 year old who loves to laugh, someone who forgives, a listener, proud of my country, a fan of socialism, and more.
The past 4 months already feel like a dream. Before my Papa (grandpa) died he said "so very much as happened," and sometimes that is all I feel like I can say. Good and bad as happened. Things I regret and things I want to remember forever. They happened and I am so thankful. I said in another journal that some of the greatest moments I had here are the ones I won't be able to explain. I'll talk about them as best as I can to the few people who actually care. And ill keep my eyes open for moments that bring me back to those 'sentidos'..."
Friday, June 12, 2009
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2 comments:
I love you Molly Aper. I miss you a lot. It was really good to hear from you via blog. I would like to talk to you sometime, but my life is crazy! Perhaps someday... I love you!
you know, your Papa's words happened to hit me. I think that so often. I sometimes sit in awe of the weaving way my life has taken and where God is bringing me now... how I wouldn't be going where I am now if various points in my life had NOT happened.
anyway... I agree with Sarah on all points
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